in english today a girl asked me how i put on makeup with my glasses on and i said ‘i take them off’ and she looked at me like
i stabbed holes through my ears so that i could hang shiny dangly things there
and yet it takes me 20 minutes to take off a bandaid
this guy i know throws this wild crazy party at the end of every school year and he invites literally everyone in our grade and this year i’m gonna call the cops ahead of time to shut it down because i once let him borrow a pencil and he never gave it back
that’s a lot of anger over just 1 pencil.
it was a mechanical pencil
You may proceed
Oh my gods.
Waldo from the Where’s Waldo books
He wears stripes
because he doesn’t want to be spotted.
i’m gonna hit something.
clothes should not be considered on sale if they’re still more than $20
in my freshman year of college there was a guy who lived a floor above me who had this stereo system hooked up to the wifi so you could play music without being plugged in and it wasn’t password protected
so when my roommate and i got bored, we’d start blasting high school musical or hannah montana or justin beiber through his speakers just to hear him yell “fUCKING AGAIN?!”